


kiss and don't tell

by maddylime



Category: The Goldfinch (2019), The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
Genre: Drunken Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, im bad at tags uhhh, theo is thinking..., they're confused gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21702010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddylime/pseuds/maddylime
Summary: one of the many nights that Boris and Theo kissed but one of the only nights Theo really remembered
Relationships: Theodore Decker/Boris Pavlikovsky
Comments: 4
Kudos: 121





	kiss and don't tell

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first goldfinch fanfiction eek eek eek

It was already past noon but Theo and Boris were still laying in bed. They often slept this late, as they often stayed awake longer than they should.  


There was barely any space between them, with Boris having his arms held tight around Theo and Theo shyly welcoming his embrace. The position had become normal for them. He’d never admit this out loud but it almost helped Theo sleep a bit. 

But, truthfully, Theo couldn’t sleep tonight. It’s not that he wasn’t tired, he was, he just couldn't get his mind to shut off. The events of the night before (or the morning before, considering how long they had stayed awake) kept ringing in his head.  


They were drunk. They were usually drunk. But Theo usually couldn’t remember everything that happened when he was drunk. Only small fragments of a moment. But this time he could remember everything.  


He could remember how touchy Boris was being. He would hold Theo’s hand or kiss him on the cheek randomly. He would basically do anything to be close to him. It was always playful. But it happened often. And everytime Theo felt Boris’ touch, he felt strange. Strange as in “I like this. I’m not sure why, but I like this. And I _shouldn’t_ like this, but I do.”  


He remembered the little compliments Boris was giving him from time to time. “You’re cute, Potter” he would say, or “I’m glad I’m with you, Potter”. He always added “Potter” at the end like he couldn't just let it be a normal statement and he needed it to seem less serious than it was. Theo remembered the immediate flusteredness he felt from this. He didn’t know how to respond, so he didn’t.  


But most of all, he could remember how close they were laying next to each other. And how the sky was already becoming lighter. And how Boris took his hand, randomly with no explanation, and slowly leaned in closer to Theo’s face. Theo remembered exactly how fast his heart was racing. He remembered how he couldn’t maintain eye contact but the only other option was to look at his lips, so his eyes wandered from place to place, hoping he didn’t seem as anxious as he felt. And he remembered how Boris whispered, “Listen Potter, you might hate me for this” and before Theo could react, their lips were pressed together.  


He remembered how strange and yet, how amazing the kiss felt. Sure, they had kissed before, but nothing like this. Those kisses led to sexual desires, not romantic ones. But, this kiss was different. So much more different. It was passionate and longing, with Theo and Boris almost being completely in sync with their motions. It was as if both of them had wanted this for the longest time.  


Admittedly, Theo had had romantic thoughts about Boris in the past. But he always pushed them away. But in that moment, all his feelings returned in a random burst.  


Theo remembered that the kiss felt like an eternity, but yet it felt like it ended too soon. He remembered he Boris pulled away and chuckled, “You won’t remember this tomorrow.” But in that moment, Theo knew, or at least hoped he would.  


He remembered being at such a loss for words he didn’t say anything, and he just watched as Boris moved away from him.  


The part that came next was something Theo could never forget.  


“I love you” Boris announced, quietly. Theo remembered those words as clear as day. It was like those words set off a reaction in him. He remembered how he turned quickly and abandoned all thought. He remembered how he grabbed Boris by the shirt and smashed their lips together.  


He remembered how they kissed, yet again, with the same passion as before. It was almost as if they couldn’t stop. It was like they needed this moment to breathe.  


Eventually, they stopped kissing and laid down on the bed, staring at each other, with neither saying a word.  


“Goodnight Potter” Boris said, and wrapped his arms around him.  


Boris fell asleep. Theo tried to.  


But Theo had a dream about Boris. A dream about kissing him. It was like he couldn't escape what happened.  


Once he woke up, he couldn’t go back to sleep. He laid there, contemplating how he felt.  


After thinking it over, for a while, he looked over to Boris and whispered, “I love you too.” Boris didn’t wake up.  


Once he did, a while later, they didn’t discuss what happened the previous night. Boris probably thought Theo didn’t remember, but Theo didn’t want to forget.

**Author's Note:**

> boreo rights. thanks for reading !


End file.
